


Not Quite The End

by SugarCrystal



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 16:00:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13884261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarCrystal/pseuds/SugarCrystal
Summary: Alternative timeline fromThe Endin which Frankenstein is not discovered on the same day as Rimmer fails his exam. Lister and Rimmer talk and slash ensues.





	1. Chapter 1

Rimmer lay on his back in the dark, staring into the blackness, listening to the soft snuffling noises Lister was making in his sleep from the top bunk and thinking.  
Another fail, how many times had he failed now? He thought it was thirteen but he'd actually lost count. He'd stopped telling his mother he'd passed exams after she'd figured out that he was lying and started sarcastically addressing her letters to "Rear Admiral" and now he just didn't bother to tell her he'd tried again at all. He also suspected that if, by some miracle, he ever did manage to pass and gain a promotion, she wouldn't believe him now anyway.  
Lister sounded peaceful up there, sound asleep. Rimmer felt a rush of jealousy, it must be nice, in its way, not to bother about a career and just bum through life. Lister may be saving up for a farm (or so he claimed) but he didn't seem to have any real worries beyond where his next curry was coming from.  
What sort of total failure must you be when someone like Lister was doing better than you?  
Rimmer felt tears pricking in his eyes. He let them fall, no one would know.

Lister stirred, opened his eyes and lay still for a second, letting his mind adjust to being awake whilst he tried to figure out the muffled sounds coming from the lower bunk.  
Rimmer was crying, Lister eventually realised. That was a shock, he'd never caught _Rimmer_ crying before, even after failing an exam. But then, Rimmer wouldn't let anyone catch him crying, would he? He was only letting himself cry now because he thought Lister was asleep, Rimmer would never let himself show that sort of vulnerability in front of another person. Whatever feelings of unhappiness he had, he'd wait until he was alone in the dark before he let them out, where no one else could ever see or know and then he'd go back to pretending he was alright. The whole thought made Lister's heart hurt.  
He wanted to do something, try and make it better, wanted to hug him, or at least talk to him.

Eventually, he jumped down from his bunk and sat on Rimmer's bed in the gloomy half-light. "Rimmer, you okay, man?"

"What?" Rimmer yelped and leapt away from him. "Oh! Yes, Listy, I'm fine. Just fine," he insisted in a tone of forced cheerfulness.

"But you're not though, man, are you? You're crying."

"No, I'm not," said Rimmer stubbornly, scrubbing his face on the sheet. "Don't be silly, Lister."

"I heard ya," said Lister simply.

"Whatever you think you heard, you're mistaken," said Rimmer stubbornly.

Lister decided not to push the issue, the underlying problems were more important and he didn't want to make Rimmer so annoyed that he clammed up. "Why'd ya do this to yourself, Rimmer?" he asked him seriously. "I mean all this working yourself up and running yourself into the ground for weeks on end to try and pass an exam and then you take one look at the exam paper and have an episode. Then you start the whole cycle again."

"If I keep trying, I'll pass eventually," Rimmer insisted. "I have to."

"No, you won't, you're obviously no good at it. How many exams have you failed now, eleven, thirteen? I can't keep track. You're obviously hopeless at astronavigation and engineering or whatever else it is you've tried. You're never going to be an officer, Rimmer, never, and I'm not being mean, I'm just being honest. Really, I think the best you can hope for at this point is to make it to first technician and be put in charge of more people than just me."

Rimmer scowled. "You would say that, Lister. Just because _you've_ no interest in building a career here...,"

"I don't think you do either, really," Lister interrupted him. "I think you don't really _want_ to be an officer, you're just trying because it's what your family wants. Do they even know the stress you're putting yourself through to try and live up to their expectations?"

"They wouldn't care," Rimmer said bitterly. "They despise me, they always have. You know I divorced my parents when I was fourteen and went to live in care until I was sixteen? Then I left there and joined here, hoping to build a career."

Lister shook his head. "No, I didn't, you've never mentioned that before. They were really that bad?"

"My father hated me the most, he was a military failure who pushed us all to achieve what he couldn't, my brothers more or less lived up to it, but I just couldn't, I was even more of a failure than him. It's no wonder he hated me. My brothers spent most of their spare time bullying me and my mother..., well, she didn't care about anyone but herself." He rubbed his face with the sheet again as more tears welled up. "I haven't seen any of them since I left. My mother still writes to me sometimes, but she's the only one who does. She addresses her letters to 'Rimmer'. I suppose I was hoping for a reconciliation if I achieved something."

"Why would you want a reconciliation if they were that awful? Wouldn't you be happier just never seeing them again?"

"They're my family. They may be awful but they're all I've got."

"That's not true," Lister insisted. "You've got...," He paused to think, who did Rimmer have? "Me," he said finally.

Rimmer stared at him in the semi-dark. "You don't even like me!" 

"That's not true at all. Yes, you're a complete smeghead but I've never hated you and now it actually sounds like you've got a good excuse."

"Really?" Rimmer asked in a small voice.

"If I hated ya, why would I be sitting here in your bunk, talking to you, trying to make you feel better?" 

"I don't know. Why are you?"

"Honestly? Because I'm worried about you. You're destroying your health endlessly trying and failing to pass exams. And now you tell me you're only doing it to impress a family you're not on speaking terms with anyway. Well, screw 'em! Do something else instead, something that'll make _you_ happy."

"Like what?" Rimmer demanded. "What do you suggest then?" What else was there? Rimmer didn't know anything other than the Space Corps, he hadn't been brought up to be anything else.

"I don't know," Lister sighed. "What do you _like_ doing? What are you good at?" He thought for a bit. "Art?" he suggested finally.

" _What_?!"

"Well, I've seen you do the occasional sketch, they're really good. And you seem to get a lot of enjoyment out of _making_ timetables even if you don't stick to them, all that colour shading and fancy handwriting. Maybe that's where your talents are."

"So, you're saying I should become a professional artist?" Rimmer sniffed. "That's absurd."

"No, it's not. It's a viable career if you're good at it."

"Not on a spaceship, it's not," Rimmer pointed out. "I'd have to go back to Io." He shuddered at the idea.

"Not necessarily," Lister insisted. "There's other planets."

"Only if you can afford it," Rimmer explained patiently. Lister could be very slow at times. "I don't have the money to leave the ship and set up home anywhere else. Not on my own."  
He'd saved up plenty of money over his years of working, even on a technician's wage. After all, it wasn't as though he spent much. But it wasn't enough to get a home, property was astronomically expensive these days and renting was too risky if you had no guarantee of a steady income.

"Okay," Lister suggested. "Come with me, then." They could both go to Fiji. He liked that idea, both of them in a tropical paradise doing their own thing instead of working for a company, Rimmer would be so much less of a smeghead if he was relaxed and happy. Rimmer may have scoffed at the idea earlier but that was when his head was still full of Space Corps career plans.

"Go with you where?" said Rimmer warily. Now what was Lister talking about?

Lister reached for Rimmer's hand in the gloom and entwined his fingers through Rimmer's. "Come to Earth with me," he said earnestly. "I told you, I've got a plan. You can be part of it." 

"No, thank you," said Rimmer stiffly, extracting his hand from Lister's. "Much as I would love to spend the rest of my life wading around in three feet of seawater, I'm afraid I'll have to decline."

Lister sighed. "I told you, you can get a drainage grant. Anyway, it doesn't have to be Fiji, I only chose Fiji because it's stupidly cheap but that was when it was me on my own. If it's both of us, both saving up our pay, we'll have twice the amount of money in the same amount of time, we could afford somewhere better than Fiji. Why don't you have a look at some brochures? See where else they have land available for sale, find somewhere that takes your fancy."

"You're..., really serious?" said Rimmer sceptically, sounding as if he was expecting Lister to reveal the whole thing as a joke any moment.

"Yes," Lister insisted. "I've never been more serious."

Rimmer eyed him doubtfully, what exactly was Lister getting at with this? "What are you asking me, Lister?"

"To come and live with me on Earth," Lister said simply. "I think it would make ya happy."

"And be your..., what, your business partner? Helping you run the farm in between doing paintings? Is that all it is?" Rimmer clarified carefully. "I mean, this isn't a gay thing, is it?"

Lister sighed. "It's whatever you want it to be, Rimmer. Just think about it and let me know." He extracted himself from Rimmer's bunk and climbed back up the ladder into his own. Well, he'd done his best, the rest was up to Rimmer.

As Lister drifted back off to sleep, Rimmer lay silently in the dark again, considering. Maybe Lister was right, maybe he _would_ be better off without a family who only made him miserable, maybe they _were_ bad for his health. You couldn't chose your family but you could chose to walk away from them, he'd already done it once, hadn't he? Maybe this time he could stick to it. You couldn't chose your family but you could chose someone else over them, he could chose Lister. But what exactly did Lister want from him?

_"This isn't a gay thing, is it?"_

_"It's whatever you want it to be, Rimmer."_

Which meant, surely, that whether it was a gay thing or not was up to Rimmer. Which meant, surely, that Lister wanted it to be, but was prepared for it to be a platonic thing if that was all Rimmer wanted. Did Lister really like Rimmer in _that_ way?  
But, he couldn't do. Lister wasn't gay, was he? He liked women far too much for that. Unless he was both and just hadn't mentioned it before. Did he really like _Rimmer_?!  
He thought of Lister sitting in his bunk, so close to him, their fingers briefly entwined, and swallowed hard at the memory. He tried to picture more, how it would feel to hold him, kiss him, run his fingers through his dreadlocks. He tried to imagine them naked in each other's arms, bodies touching intimately, but his mind balked at that one, too much, too soon.  
Some of the things his father had said about homosexuals came to mind, making Rimmer angry. _Shut up, you old git_ , Rimmer told his father in his head. _You can't tell me what to do anymore_.

Lister had told him to think about it. He'd think about it.


	2. Chapter 2

He was still thinking about it two days later. He thought about it whilst on shift, trying to ignore the fact that Lister was right there behind him, and during meal breaks, and back in his bunk at night whilst waiting to fall asleep. And the more he thought about it, the more monotonous Z-Shift seemed, the more the endless grey and white corridors started to grate on his nerves, and the more he realised how much he truly cared about Lister.

Eventually, he found himself thinking about it in the library whilst staring at a computer terminal and considering signing up for another exam. On impulse he typed _Land for sale on Earth_ into the search bar. A long list of results came up so Rimmer selected the _Sort by price, cheapest first_ option. Not much to his surprise, Fiji was top of the list. He scrolled down to see what else would come up.  
There were a couple of tropical options that weren't too expensive, Lister wanted somewhere tropical, didn't he? Rimmer had never seen the tropics outside of films and wasn't sure whether or not he'd be happy somewhere that hot. He'd spent nearly all his life in a climate controlled artificial environment and his few visits to Earth had been to moderately warm countries. Still, air conditioning was a thing, wasn't it?  
They would reach Earth before the end of next year. Lister had said it would take him two more trips to save up the money but they could use the visit to Earth to scout out a few places even if they couldn't afford them yet. He could judge for himself just how hot the tropics were and whether he'd be happy there.

As he clicked through the options, a name appeared that he recognised from his study of military history. Rimmer studied the adverts and price list with interest and then impulsively pressed the 'print' button. As the printer whirred away, he composed a short letter in his head.

 _Dear Mother and Father,_  
_I've decided to quit my job as soon as I can afford to and give up entirely on attempting a career in the Space Corps. Instead, I'm going to Earth to become an artist and run a farm with my boyfriend. Yes, I have one. You'd hate him. Gay thing aside, he's everything you despise in a human being._  
_See you again never._  
_Your ex-son, Arnold._

Maybe his father would have another stroke, it would serve the old bastard right.

Rimmer hurried back to the sleeping quarters, hoping to catch Lister before he went out for the evening, but bumped into him coming in the opposite direction.  
"There you are," he said breathlessly. "I was just coming to find you." He reached into the pocket of his jumpsuit and extracted the folded up print-out of the advert. "What do you think of this place?" he asked, handing it to Lister. "It's a similar climate to Fiji, but it's not flooded and it's still fairly cheap. Not Fiji cheap but not expensive."

Lister stared down at the page, then stared up at Rimmer. "Are you saying yes?"

Rimmer took a deep breath. "I did what you said, Lister, I thought about it. And I came to the conclusion that you are the most important person in my life and I'd rather like it to stay that way."

A smile nearly split Lister's face in half. "Come 'ere, man!" he burst out and flung his arms around Rimmer's neck.

Rimmer wrapped his own arms around Lister's body and held him close. They were in a public corridor, Rimmer told himself as their lips met over and over. There was such a thing as propriety. Snogging in a public place was unprofessional. "Maybe we should go back to the bunkroom," he suggested, rather muffled. "We can talk about it properly."

Lister grinned at him and mentally cancelled his plans for the evening, which hadn't involved much more than drinking anyway. "Come on then." He grabbed Rimmer by the wrist and pulled him down the corridor, Rimmer stumbling to keep up.

*****

"Guantanamo Bay?" Lister asked, stumbling a little over the pronunciation, as he examined the advert properly. "Where's that, then?"

"Cuba," said Rimmer. "There used to be a military base there with its own maximum security prisoner of war camp and it got the place rather a bad reputation but that was shut down decades ago. It's all houses and land for sale now but people are put off of buying by the history, that's why it's so cheap. They think it's...," he made a wry face. "Haunted. You don't believe in ghosts, do you, List..., er, Dave?"

"No," Lister said thoughtfully. "And it looks nice..., but...,"

"Exactly," said Rimmer enthusiastically. "There's no such things as ghosts but think of the history!"

"But I'm not sure I like the sound of the history," Lister finished. "Maximum security prison?" Sounded very unpleasant to him.

"Well, it's tropical," Rimmer tried to persuade him. "And land is cheap. And more importantly, you won't need to get your drainage equipment out every time it rains. At least take a look at the place when we reach Earth."

"Okay, babe," Lister agreed. "Let's do that, let's go and have a look at it." They couldn't afford to be too picky, after all, and, he had to admit that, logically, somewhere that wasn't flooded was better than somewhere that was.

Rimmer smiled at him and, impulsively, Lister straddled his lap and began kissing him again. "I love you," he said softly.

Rimmer looked surprised. "Really?"

"Yes, of course."

"No one's ever said that to me before."

Lister looked at him, genuinely saddened to hear it. "Never? Not even your mother?"

"Especially not my mother." 

"I'm sorry."

Rimmer shrugged. "Don't be. They don't matter." He smiled slightly. "Say it again."

Lister smiled back. "I love you, Arnold Rimmer. I love you so much."

"I think I like that," Rimmer decided and pressed a kiss to Lister's forehead. "I love you too, Listy." He let his arms snake around Lister's body.  
He wasn't quite sure how they got from there to the bunks but the next thing he knew, they were collapsing into the bottom bunk together and Lister's hands were all over him, caressing his skin, tugging at his clothes. 

"You're trembling," said Lister gently, as he kissed him.

"I'm sorry, I'm not used to..," Rimmer trailed off and tried again. "I've never been with a man." Never with a woman either apart from Yvonne McGruder, unless you counted Rachel, but Lister didn't have to know that, Rimmer wanted to keep some semblance of dignity here.

"That's okay," Lister reassured him. "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I didn't say that," said Rimmer quickly.

"You do want to?" Lister confirmed.

"More than anything." He pulled Lister down on top of him.

"Okay then," Lister grinned.

At some point, Rimmer ended up on top, Lister wasn't quite sure how but he didn't mind it. He found himself with his legs around Rimmer's waist, gasping out requests for Rimmer to move faster and harder and call him 'miladdo'.

Afterwards they lay in a naked tangle of limbs and sheets, Lister resting his head on Rimmer's chest. "Arn," he said quietly. "Can I ask you something? How long have you known you were gay?"

"Most of my life, I suppose," Rimmer said quietly, as he absently stroked Lister's dreadlocks. "But, you know...,"

"Io?" asked Lister sympathetically.

"Io," Rimmer agreed. "And my father. I told you about him, didn't I? Does he sound like the sort of man who'd be happy to have a faggot for a son?"

"Not really, no," Lister agreed, a little taken aback by the outdated slur until he realised Rimmer was just explaining the sort of words his father used.

"I didn't want to give him yet another reason to hate me, so I hid it. Tried to like girls but it didn't really work. By the time I joined _Red Dwarf_ , I was too used to hiding it to change and eventually I realised I was never going to find love with _anybody_ so it didn't matter anyway."

"Well, you have now," Lister promised. "I'm glad you didn't find anyone else, it means it can be me."

"You really mean that, don't you?" 

Rimmer sounded incredulous and Lister felt sad again. Rimmer really did find it hard to believe that anyone could really love him. "Yeah," he promised. "I do."


	3. Chapter 3

"Where'd you get to last night, man?" Petersen wanted to know. "We couldn't find you anywhere. You weren't ill, were you?"

"No. I was...," Lister paused to think and then decided to tell the truth. Why not? He wasn't ashamed of it and they'd find out eventually anyway. "I was having sex with Rimmer. Is that okay with everyone?" he said, as defiantly as possible.

Selby smirked triumphantly into his beer, the others fell silent, wondering how to respond.

"Well, he always said you'd bonk anything," Chen supplied after a long pause. "Trying to prove it, was he?"

"Was he good?" asked Petersen with a cartoonish leer.

Lister scowled. "Me and Rimmer are a thing now, I think - I hope. So if you lot are gonna mock, let's just get it all over with now, okay, guys? And, yes, actually," he added in Petersen's direction.

"It's fine by me," grinned Selby. "I've got two hundred dollarpounds on you two getting there eventually."

Oh yes, of course, Lister remembered, there was a betting pool run by some guy from Supplies on who would be romantically involved with whom by the time they arrived back at Earth. He narrowed his eyes at Selby. "You put money on me and Rimmer?"

"Well, I was right, wasn't I?" He smirked over the top of his beer. "I know sexual tension when I see it, mate."

Lister realised he didn't have an answer to that, so he just scowled and drank his beer.

"So why aren't you with him now then?" Chen queried. "Why are you out drinking with us losers when you could be getting laid?"

"He's busy," Lister explained patiently. "Paperwork or something. I'll be seeing him later."

"So, are you gonna give us any details? You can't say you had sex with Rimmer, of all people, and then not give us any details."

"Yeah, come on, Lister," Petersen agreed. "Spill the beans. What's he like?"

"Pretty boring, probably," Selby considered. "I mean, he can't have had much practice."

"Nah," said Petersen, getting into the swing of mocking Lister. "I reckon he's secretly a smegging great pervert. Did he try to tie you to the bunk or make you lick his boots?"

"Yeah, what is it they say? It's always the quiet ones," Chen joined in.

Selby looked puzzled. "But Rimmer ain't that quiet though, is he? 'I'm your superior, Listy! You're on report, squire!' Smegging hell, he _is_ a pervert!"

"For smeg's sake!" said Lister, getting increasingly annoyed. "He didn't try to do anything, it was just ordinary sex. Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Nah, you still haven't told us anything. How long did he last?"

"How big's his dick?"

"Who was on top?"

Lister groaned and buried his face in his arms at the cackling laughter. He should have known better than to expect any sort of mature response from his drinking buddies, he was regretting telling them at all now.

All in all, he was relieved when Rimmer finally showed up and he could get out of there. He stood up and kissed him, Rimmer wrapped his arms around Lister and kissed him back to a loud chorus of "Whoooooo!" noises from Petersen and co. Lister broke away from the kiss again to round on them. "Alright, guys, grow up a bit, yeah? It's not secondary school."

"Ignore them," Rimmer murmured against his ear. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Lister gratefully followed him out of the bar, leaving behind the chorus of lewd comments.

*****

The following morning, Todhunter rounded a corner on the way to his office and unexpectedly walked into Z-Shift up against the wall in a passionate embrace. Neither of them appeared to notice him, so after a few seconds he loudly cleared his throat to get their attention.

Rimmer dropped Lister and leapt to attention with his customary salute. "Mr Todhunter, Sir! So sorry, Sir. Didn't see you there, Sir."

Lister grinned and waved sheepishly.

"Okay," said Todhunter slowly. "Have I accidentally swallowed some of those hallucinogenic mushrooms or did you two just have your tongues down each other's throats?"

"Yes, Sir, we did, Sir," Rimmer admitted.

"Are you drunk?"

"No, Sir. Just in love and deliriously happy, Sir."

"Okay," said Todhunter helplessly. "Well, as long as you're on your own time and not company time right now...,"

"Yeah, we're on a break," Lister assured him.

"Well, that's fine then." Todhunter shrugged helplessly. "It's not like there's any rules against it. I'm just surprised, that's all. The last time I checked, you didn't like each other very much." 

"I think we were just in denial, Sir," said Rimmer.

"Fair enough. I just hope you know what you're doing, you do realise the way staffing is on this ship, there's no way either of you can currently be transferred? If this ends in a messy break-up, you'll still have to work together _and_ share a bunkroom."

"I don't think that'll be a problem, Sir."

"Nah, we're good," Lister grinned. He reached out and hooked his arm around Rimmer's buttocks. Rimmer tried hard to keep his ramrod posture in front of Todhunter.

Todhunter spread his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Fine. I'll just leave you to it then, shall I?" he said. "Erm, as you were, gentlemen."

He walked off, shaking his head, as Lister leapt back into Rimmer's arms. This had been an exceptionally weird morning. He could do with some coffee.


	4. Chapter 4

Rimmer read the Outland Revenue letter over and over in disbelief, he had no idea how he'd managed to build up a back payment in tax of $£8,500 and was hoping there'd been some mistake. He'd have to contact them and hope it could all be sorted out somehow. If he really did owe this much..., well, it wasn't so much that he couldn't afford it, more that it would put a huge hole in their savings. 

Lister entered the bunkroom, humming that annoying song again, and Rimmer quickly stuffed the letter out of sight. He didn't want to worry him with it, not yet anyway, not while there was still a possibility it was an error. "Evening, Dave," he said in a tone of forced cheerfulness.

Lister tossed his jacket into the upper bunk, which he was largely using for storage now that he and Rimmer were mostly cramming into the lower one, and went to switch the kettle on.  
"Post arrived?" he asked, noticing the large pile of letters and parcels Rimmer had neatly stacked on the table. 

"All yours." Rimmer indicated the pile. "All that ridiculous junk you sign up for just so you'll get some post."

"Anything for you?"

"Just one." There was no need to mention the other one. Rimmer slid a letter across the table to Lister. "From my mother." 

Lister picked it up curiously. " _Dear Rimmer_ ," he read aloud.

"Told you," Rimmer replied.

" _I hope this_..., _epistle finds you adequately healthy to discharge your duties._ Charming! _I write to_..., Oh, 'inform!' _inform you that your father is dad._ Well, of course he is." Lister looked baffled. "I don't get it. Mind, this handwriting's terrible. Maybe it's your father/dad?"

"Dead, you gimboid. My father is dead."

"Oh yeah! It's an E!" Lister realised. "Your dad's dead!..., Ohhhh," he trailed off embarrassed. "Sorry," he added, wondering if he should offer condolences or not, given Rimmer's relationship with his father. 

"It's okay," Rimmer shrugged. "I was never going to see him again anyway."

"Did we do that?" Lister asked awkwardly. "Kill him, I mean? Did we give him a heart attack or something?" As unpleasant as Rimmer's dad appeared to have been, he really didn't want to have been responsible for anyone's death.

Rimmer shook his head. " _Passed away peacefully in his sleep_ , that doesn't sound like a heart attack. Anyway, check the date, she wrote it weeks ago. My letter would have arrived after he died, if it's even arrived at all yet." He suddenly realised that his father would never get to read it and felt a little put out.

"Are you gonna write back to her?" Lister asked as he poured coffee.

"I suppose I ought to," Rimmer agreed. What should he say? Condolences, probably, whilst making it clear that this didn't change anything.  
He fetched a pen and paper whilst Lister began attending to his own pile of mail and pondered for a while, finally settling on,

_Dear Mother,_  
_My last letter was written before I received yours. However, it still stands._  
_Sorry for your loss._  
_Arnold._

"How's that?" he asked, showing it to Lister.

Lister considered for a second, then picked up the pen and scrawled _and Dave_ after Rimmer's name. "Solidarity," he grinned.

*****

For the next few weeks, they spent their evenings curled up in Rimmer's bunk. Sometimes they would make love, other times, they would just hold each other and talk, sometimes they would watch TV and have a few drinks and maybe some takeaway food.  
Gradually Rimmer began to loosen up and stopped complaining about things so much whilst Lister became less of a slob and started to take better care of his hygiene, after Rimmer politely explained that he might enjoy sex and general intimacy with Lister more if Lister was a bit cleaner and more pleasant smelling.  
For the first time in his life, Rimmer was happy. He had someone who loved him and he had a real future to look forward to, wherever they eventually ended up living. Having given up on exams, he was also a lot less stressed and anxious all the time which ultimately meant he was doing a better job as a technician. His new, improved attitude, added to the fact that he was now the boyfriend of one of the more popular crew members meant that people were even starting to treat him with a bit of respect. Everything was going wonderfully.

It wasn't Lister's fault he was eventually caught with Frankenstein and her newborn kittens and sentenced to spend the rest of the trip in stasis. Well, maybe it was.  
Frankenstein was the one part of the plan Rimmer hadn't known about, it was as much a shock to him as to anyone when Lister was caught. Much as Lister loved him, he wasn't sure he could trust him with knowing that Lister had so flagrantly broken a rule. He knew Rimmer would never turn him in, but he might try to flush Frankenstein out of an airlock when Lister wasn't looking and that wasn't a risk Lister had been prepared to take.

The first night after Lister was sent down, Rimmer spent the evening in his bunk alone for the first time in ages. It wasn't as though he'd lost him, he told himself, Lister hadn't dumped him, he was just away for a while, he'd still be there at the end of the voyage. It was only fifteen months until they reached Earth and then Lister would be released. Rimmer was going to miss him but he was a grown man, he could cope without his boyfriend for a year and a bit.  
The main problem was the money, Lister wouldn't get any wages for the duration, which would put a big dent in their finances, especially as Rimmer's taxes still needed paying off, and almost certainly he wouldn't have his contract with the JMC renewed at the end of the voyage. Which would mean he'd have to find another job and with his qualifications (none) and the fact he now had a black mark on his employment history, that might not be easy.  
If only there was something Rimmer could do to make up the losses, find a better position, something that was better paid. But he was hopeless at exams, they'd already agreed on that. He remembered what Lister had said the night it had all started, _I think the best you can hope for at this point is to make it to first technician._  
Yes, Rimmer _could_ make it to first technician! That was a promotion he _could_ realistically get. He'd been with the company more than long enough and he'd been doing a better job recently, hadn't he?  
The wages he'd earn in the position would cover Lister's loss of earnings, so they'd still end up with the same amount of money. Plus, Rimmer smiled warmly, Listy would be proud of him when he came out of stasis and found out.

The problem was, how to earn the promotion. When your main area of responsibility was to keep the vending machines clean and stocked and the only other jobs you ever seemed to get were fixing hinges and brackets or cleaning the gunk out of the air conditioning units, there wasn't much scope for attracting attention.  
Rimmer logged on to the technician's roster and scanned through the list of items. Anything, any genuinely important job he could sign up to do before someone else got there. Ahah! There was a priority job! A drive plate had started coming unstuck and needed sealing before it started leaking radiation, Rimmer quickly put his name down for it and smiled triumphantly. All he needed to do was get down there first thing tomorrow's shift and seal that plate. That would prove that he wasn't useless, that would show he could do more than clean out chicken soup dispensers. It would prove that he may not be officer material, but he was certainly first technician material.  
What could possibly go wrong?


End file.
